A jungle employee recently took inventory of his annual co2 output, or carbon footprint from 5 different web “carbon calculator” services. Here are his scores from each:
carbonfootprint.com 22.54 tons/year
nature.org 37 tons/year
climatecrisis.net 14.6 tons/year
carboncounter.org 14.66? tons/year
zerofootprint.net 28.5 tons/year
What does this mean? It means, among other things, this particular person is a mass CO2 polluter, according to each site. Clearly however, there’s a ton of variation between scores. This is the result of vastly different data fields used for score calculation. For example, climatecrisis.org’s counter (the official site for the film Inconvenient Truth) doesn’t evaluate a person’s food consumption and level of consumerism, while carbonfootprint.com does. Zerofootprint.net mocks users with a bar graph of your fast growing carbon footprint vs. an average citizen in Canada and Toronto—scores of 9.8 and 10, respectively, dwarfed by the jungle employee in question. Astonishingly, zerofootprint.net’s headquarters are located in Canada.
The rest of jungle’s staff scored much lower, so they’re either noble people or bald- faced liars.
Later this evening our gross environmental offender will be burned at the stake. Of course, the flames will be ignited with biodeisel and recycled paper to assure minimal environmental impact.