green guerilla warfare

Think you’re being green by eating organic, imported produce, or drinking fair-trade coffee grown thousands of miles away? If an Extreme Green Guerilla saw your meal he/she would laugh, then probably kill you, so your carbon output would stop, since you didn’t appear able to decrease it yourself.
No, these guerillas are not from Central America, or adolescent, karate-kicking, shell-bearing reptiles. They’re the brainchild of Michiko Nitta for a final project RCA, Design Interactions. She presents the concept of an enlightened community of people determined to do their part to live a life of zero carbon output, even if it means eating lawn plants and roadkill.

The Extreme Green Guerillas adapt new ways of living to respond to problem areas where too much energy is used up. Their first effort was to reduce the massive amount of energy spent to transport food. Instead they turn to the urban jungle to find food. A EGG can make a meal from pigeons, vermin on the street, or mushrooms from your yard.

The EGG’s reject the modern postal system and electronic messaging due to their extreme energy inefficiency, and instead use a natural, organic method. They hack into the animal migration system to send messages. Birds, whales, fish, even unsuspecting humans can all be used to transport one’s message. Once they reach their destination along the migration route, the transporters are then jumped by other green guerillas and the messages extracted.
And as the final component of their plan, the Green Guerillas address the issue of death and it’s timing. By living longer, a person continues to use more and more resources, and their carbon output increases exponentially. Therefore the most powerful way to be green would be to stop living at age 40. At the age of 20, all members of the EGG s would be tagged with a earring containing muscle relaxant and a lethal injection that would activate on their 40th birthday. Extreme, but effective in its scope. Our ancestors lived full lives in less then half the time we use up now. We only collect and create toxins as we age, why continue the process to an unhealthy, decrepit degree? We don’t let cars run if they don’t pass a smog check, why humans?

I’m not sure how many other people besides goth or emo kids would be a fan of the “death earring”, but the EGG manifesto has some interesting points. Humans are acting as a cancer to the planet in many aspects. Why can’t we live in symbiosis instead of being a parasite? Because the unfortunate reality is, when the host dies, so does the parasite. In this case we are like a flea on a dog, but we have no other planet to jump to. So maybe the time has come to take a flea dip to save the planet, even if it’s a slightly extreme measure. Alright kids, hand me the shovel, who wants opossum flatbread and scrambled pigeon eggs for dinner?

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