The Food Network recently announced their new series “Eat the Clock”, a reality show similar to “The Amazing Race”, where teams of contestants race from restaurant to restaurant, gathering clues and consuming meals at local LA hotspots. While the Food Network says their show doesn’t emphasize frantic face-stuffing, like Spike TV and ESPN’s competitive eating events, or G4’s show “Hurl”, it doesn’t have the same quality as their other shows. What happened to the shows featuring chefs who want to preserve the art and peace that can be found in cooking?

What this show does accomplish is accurately portraying how the “LA mentality” affects everything we do here. Even eating, something usually associated with a taking a break,? relaxation, nourishment, group time, bonding, laying down one’s arms, shared enjoyment, etc, can be turned into a hyper, deadline-obsessed, competitive, win-or-lose, crazed race to “be the first one to acquire whatever the current “desired item/ title/status symbol” is. So what title does the winner of the show get, I wonder? Well, while Food Network tries to decide on that, I have some ideas for the contestant’s tee shirt designs:

“And I didn’t have to regurgitate once!”

or, for the more accurate LA native,

“Skip chewing and it comes up easier!”


“Who said dinner was supposed to be enjoyable?”

? “I majored in speed eating”

? “Who says a big mouth is bad?”

“Speed dating, minus the date”

“I will annihilate you at eating.”

“Make eating an Olympic sport”.

And we wonder why Americans are the heaviest nation on the world. There’s a reason you don’t see any French Reality shows featuring people trying to scarf down some bruchetta and cheese and guzzle a good Syrah before jumping up and dashing to the next Bistro.

I think a better idea for a show would be to document how much food the average restaurant patron wastes when they eat out. Maybe calculate how many children in Argentina one days’ worth of wasted food could have fed. Or maybe investigating why the dishwasher can’t get healthcare.

Just some ideas. But then we wouldn’t get to see people running around in some pretty awesome tee shirts.


2 thoughts on “leave it to americans to make eating competitive”

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